iDont Know
by alixxblack
Summary: A sweet exchange of texts, emails, and chat conferences between Sam, Freddie, and Carly about their lives and how they might be changing. Sam doesn't know if she is in love. Carly doesn't know if she will go home. And Freddy doesn't know...anything...
1. iWanted Ham

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

Heads up: I've seen fanfics that are in blog/chat formats. I really like that organization for iCarly, and it seems completely appropriate. Please don't hate and give it a chance :) I'll use text, chat, and email.

* * *

><p>cShay: sam<p>

mPuck: carl

cShay: sam

mPuck: get to the point carly

cShay: i think you know my point!

mPuck: mom made ham. lots of ham.

cShay: that is no excuse samantha puckett!

mPuck: are you home?

cShay: yes…why would i be using the computer if I werent?

cShay: h/o Freddie is requesting to join us

mPuck:

mPuck: d o n o t d o i t c a r l y !

[ freddieB has joined the conference ]

freddieB: hola

cShay: hi freddie

mPuck: momma is displeased

freddieB: sam can you be nice for once?

mPuck: do you have ham?

cShay: SAM!

mPuck: but i like ham

freddieB: her mom made ham didnt she?

cShay: yes

mPuck: at least you arent surprised

cShay: oh no

mPuck: oh?

mPuck: do you want ham too?

freddieB: sam

freddieB: do you really think that carly is concerned about ham?

freddieB: of course you do

freddieB: why did i ask

mPuck: because you are dumb

freddieB: am not

mPuck: are two

freddieB: too

mPuck: huh?

freddieB: too

freddieB: you meant too

mPuck: no I meant two times the stupid not too

cShay: D2

cShay: i have to go to the grocery store

cShay: spender left his wallet here

freddieB: do you want me to come too?

mPuck: two

cShay: no thanks

[ cShay has left the conference ]

freddieB: spencer is such a child sometimes

mPuck: you are just mad because he is awesome

freddieB: i am awesome too

mPuck: two

freddieB: will you STOP?

mPuck: TWO

mPuck: ham

freddieB: you are irritating

mPuck: ham is good for your soul

freddieB: you have a soul?

[ freddieB has left the conference ]

mPuck: he is a cute nerd sometimes


	2. iTried a Movie Night

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: whr r u<p>

317-555-5678: sam wanted ham

317-555-4321: sam ham u rhymed

317-555-5678: ha ha freddie. We will b thr soon

317-555-4321: she knws the mvie strts soon rite?

317-555-5678: does sam evr knw n e thng?

317-555-4321: u hv a point

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: whr r u<p>

317-555-5678: rite hr

317-555-1289: thn y r u so quiet?

317-555-5678: freddie is waiting 4 us the mvie

317-555-1289: oh yeaaa

317-555-5678: u rly hate freddie

317-555-1289: freddie cant beat ham

317-555-5678: smhw i dnt think this bthrs him

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: we r cmng in NOW<p>

317-555-4321: i kno

317-555-5678: u do?

317-555-4321: yea

317-555-4321: FWD:: we r cmng srry 4 runnin late ;(

317-555-5678: that is strange


	3. iAm Going to Europe

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>mPuck: hi<p>

freddieB: hi

mPuck: good movie

freddieB: yea

freddieB: good movie

mPuck: too bad they don't sell ham

mPuck: it would taste good on popcorn

freddieB: only you sam

mPuck: well

mPuck: it would be delicious

freddieB: where is carly?

[ cShay has joined the conference ]

cShay: hey there guys! : )

cShay: sorry to bail! my dad called during the movie!

cShay: and he has invited me to come back to Europe with him!

[ mPuck has left the conference ]

freddieB: should i talk to her or should you do that part?

cShay: she will understand

cShay: I never get to see my dad

freddieB: she will understand but that doesnt mean it is easier to deal with

freddieB: how long do you plan to be gone for?

cShay: two weeks

cShay: I know it is a long time but we can email back and forth!

cShay: I love you guys and I love my dad too

cShay: and i never get to see him

freddieB: nobody is judging you carly

freddieB: sam just doesnt like it

freddieB: you met her mom

freddieB: and Melanie…if she is real…cant make it easier on her

cShay: Melanie is real

cShay: she doesnt like you anymore

cShay: just in case you might be curious

freddieB: thats fine

freddieB: still waiting on you ; )

cShay: wait your heart out freddie

cShay: im going to go and grab a smoothie

cShay: maybe sam will be cooled off when i get back

freddieB: just don't ask her to help you pack

[ cShay has left the conference ]

[ mPuck has joined the conference ]

freddieB: are you ok?

mPuck: yea

mPuck: i hate staying here with my mom tho

mPuck: definitely not thrilled about it

freddieB: i will be the one to break the news

freddieB: she will be gone for two weeks

mPuck: so loooong

mPuck: i am going to need so much ham

freddieB: well we can still do stuff

freddieB: alright we can TRY to do stuff

freddieB: sam?

freddieB: sam?

mPuck: sorry I had to vomit

freddieB: you were nice earlier you know

freddieB: i was hoping I didn't have to say anything about it

freddieB: but you were nice and I expect you to try to be nice

freddieB: please

freddieB: dont hit me when you see me next

mPuck: I guess we can try to do stuff

mPuck: …..together

freddieB: we could start with hot dogs

mPuck: momma likes meat

freddieB: theres a great vendor in the park

freddieB: sound like a plan?

mPuck: dont bring carly

freddieB: alright?

mPuck: i…

mPuck: I like…

freddieB: yes?

mPuck: i like when carly doesnt know where I get meat from so she cant come find me

mPuck: k?

freddieB: anything you say sam…

mPuck: momma! Not sam!

freddieB: yes MOOOMMMMMA puckett

mPuck: win


	4. iReally Am Sick

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Hey! Sam has apparently convinced the school that she has the flu and she's been staying home. Did you know about this? And where were you yesterday? I came to ask a question and your mom said you were out.

Tell me.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

I ran into Sam the other day while I was out. I just went on a walk. She was out getting some meat for dinner and she looked terrible. I walked her home.

What was your question? Do you still need it answered?

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

Sam, you can't run from Carly because she wants to visit her dad. You are overreacting.

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Fredde

SUBJECT:

Please don't get mad at me too. You need human interaction.

Keep that in mind.

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I really am sick. Those hot dogs kicked my butt.

They must not be nice to their meat.

Momma

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

You better not be lying. At least email Carly and let her know. She's been haranguing me.

Get better.

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I ate bad meat. I do not have the flu, but the note my mom forged (cause you know she hates going to the doctor) was easier to do flu.

I am not avoiding you.

I promise.

Momma

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

I am sorry. Freddie told me earlier. Do you want me to bake you brownies?

I know you don't want me to remind you, but I am leaving Saturday morning. I would like you to ride with me to the airport.

Please?

Carly


	5. iWasnt Staring!

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: carly lost her phone<p>

317-555-1289: ok

317-555-4321: we r headn ovr rite now

317-555-1289: good my mom isnt hm

317-555-4321: u r decent rite?

317-555-4321: do u mn pants n stff?

317-555-1289: i hope u r jk

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: sam<p>

317-555-5678: put ur pants on

317-555-1289: I tht we were all grwn up :/

317-555-1289: I dnt feel well enuff to put pants on

317-555-5678: h/o

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: stop staring her Freddie!<p>

317-555-5678: FREDDIE!

317-555-4321: not staring :S

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: u were ttly staring sam<p>

317-555-4321: not

317-555-4321: remember – I only have eyes for Carly Shay

317-555-5678: mayb I shld make a shirt for u

317-555-5678: lying monocales

317-555-4321: carly u r bein crazy

317-555-5678: ZZzzZzZzz gn

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: hi<p>

317-555-5678: yes X0

317-555-1289: were u staring me 2day?

317-555-5678: I WAS NOT STARING

317-555-1289: ok :S

317-555-1289: good night geek

317-555-5678: SAMANTHA PUCKETT!


	6. iDont Like Freddie

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>mPuck: how is the flight?<p>

cShay: its alright but dad fell asleep

mPuck: oh look Freddie is on

cShay: no hes not….

cShay: ….

mPuck: oh guess that was someone else…

cShay: do u know multiple freddies?

cShay: ?

mPuck: momma knows lots of people

cShay: moving on

cShay: thx for riding to the airport with me

cShay: and for packing a goodie bag

mPuck: I can be nice sometimes

mPuck: plus u r my bf so I should probably gesture that sometimes

mPuck: isnt that how this works?

cShay: oh

mPuck: what?

cShay: YOU DO HAVE A HEART

cShay: (3(3(3(3

cShay: see! There are bits of your heart transmitting my way!

* * *

><p>mPuck: why r u hiding?<p>

freddieB: carly gave me an earful this morning

mPuck: y?

freddieB: she saw you had text my phone

freddieB: X/

mPuck: hmmmm

* * *

><p>cShay: so what are you up to?<p>

mPuck: nothinggggggg

mPuck: so

cShay: yes?

mPuck: now that you cant chase me…

mPuck: …I was curious, you know

mPuck: if u like freddie

cShay: what?

cShay: what gives you THAT impresson?

mPuck: I think u mean impression carl

cShay: IMPRESSION

mPuck: u just seemed a little worried about him looking at me

mPuck: you asked me a lot about it

cShay: that is definitely not why I asked a lot

cShay: and I didnt just ask u. i asked Freddie too.

mPuck: why is it a big deal?

mPuck: its probably the first girl hes seen w/out pants on

cShay: I guess this is true….

cShay: dont tell him that

mPuck: I wont tell him u think hes a loser

cShay: Freddie isnt a loser

cShay: hes just ineligible as a boyf

cShay: bc he is … you know …

mPuck: hes a geek

cShay: definitely a geek

mPuck: geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

cShay: thats enough

* * *

><p>freddieB: do u think it means she likes me?<p>

mPuck: she definitely does not like you

mPuck: trust me I just checked

freddieB: SAM!

freddieB: god saaaaam why do u do these things?

mPuck: I am sorry : (

mPuck: I was subtle I promise

freddieB: anyway… what are you doing tomorrow?

mPuck: whats it to ya?

* * *

><p>cShay: I am going to take a nap with dad<p>

mPuck: well theres nothing else to do on that plane

cShay: no not really

mPuck: I gotta sleep n e way

mPuck: big day tomorrow : D

cShay: huh?

mPuck: ham carly…. Ham!

cShay: hamathon?

mPuck: hamaplooza!

cShay: bye sam

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: Freddie<p>

317-555-4321: yes?

317-555-5678: no hamaplooza.

317-555-5678: dont ask

317-555-4321: why? Ham is delicious : )


	7. iNeed a Favor

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Gibby.

I need a big favor from you. Do you think you can do it?

It requires spying and stealth.

And a shirt.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

I can spy. I can be stealth.

Do I really need a shirt? Oh, and can guppy help out too? He likes to spy.

Gibsterr

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Yes, guppy can help. Yes, you need a shirt.

So this is what I am having you do.

Spy on Sam and Freddie while I am gone! Freddie has been acting mysterious and ever since that kiss they hid from me I am a little unsure about them.

I just don't know why they are hiding stuff from me.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

That is not good friendship building carly.

But I will do it anyway. Plus, I bought a detective costume for me and guppy.

We are going to do this right!

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

I had a great time cooking and eating ham at your house. And your mom is a total lunatic. I thought my mom was bad. Not that I don't love my mom, but she is a crazy woman. I don't know how we deal with them. Carly has it easy with Spencer. I'd give anything to live with Spencer for a week.

Without all those spontaneous fires.

Anyway, thanks for having me over. And especially thanks for only calling me a geek or a nerd six times. That must be a new record or something.

You are a good cook.

Freddie


	8. iEnjoy This

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: wht r u doin?<p>

317-555-4321: sittin outside

317-555-1289: ur mom asleep?

317-555-4321: yea y?

317-555-1289: wnt sum cmpny?

317-555-4321: sure y not

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: [1] Hey guys! My laptop died on the plane trip but I wanted to text you and tell you<p>

317-555-5678: [2] that I just landed in London! EEK! I will send you pictures of everything while I am

317-555-5678: [3] here! And I want pictures of you too! I miss you already! 3 Carly

317-555-1289: do u kno wht time it is?

317-555-5678: y r u still up? Its like midnite ther!

317-555-1289: I went on a qust 4 fried chicn

317-555-5678: y do I ask? Go to bed sam

317-555-1289: nah that is for losers

317-555-1289: plus im busy

317-555-5678: huh?

317-555-1289: gtg!

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: carly its like midnite<p>

317-555-5678: y r u still up?

317-555-4321: no reason :/

317-555-5678: Freddie dont lie to me!

* * *

><p>mPuck: did u sleep well?<p>

freddieB: nope

mPuck: me neither

freddieB: I think that had a lot to do with it being a roof

freddieB: u r lucky my mom left to the store this morning

freddieB: she would have had an mental breakdown if she caught us

mPuck: sorry

mPuck: you bored me to death

freddieB: no I didn't

mPuck: we bored each other to death

mPuck: my rambling about meat

mPuck: your stuff about techy…things

freddieB: agreed

mPuck: smoothies?

freddieB: u just left not even an hour ago

mPuck: im thirsty

freddieB: give me forty-five minutes

freddieB: man….this is weird

mPuck: what?

freddieB: we are getting along

freddieB: and without carly

mPuck: its easier to get along with you when u aren't drooling over her

mPuck: just saying

freddieB: meet u there alright

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

Sam and Freddie were at the Groovy Smoothie today. They laughed a lot. Guppy said he heard Freddie say he was mad at you. I didn't hear it but Guppy swears by the hamburger he ate there that he did.

Freddie saw us though, so I don't think he really said it. Does he seem mad at you?

Do you think you could mail me some of the stinky cheese?

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Sam, Fred, Gibby, Spence<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Here guys! Spencer, you slept in so I thought I would show you all the fun you missed out. Next time maybe you shouldn't drink from unmarked bottles…

These are pictures from downtown London and the different shops we looked at, and the tours we went on. Dad and I had a blast! I wish you guys could have seen it! What did you guys do? Try to snap a few pictures.

Spencer, stay awake next time.

Carly (and Dad, who says Hi to everyone)

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

I can't believe Carly has already been gone for five days. I've been having a load of fun hanging out with you. I really appreciate that you tagged along to the "geek gathering" yesterday. It was nice having someone there with me. Even at "geek gatherings" it is not "cool" to show up by yourself. It was very sweet of you.

Thanks for the surprise chocolates. I know you hate half of them, but it was a good try at being super friendly. Thanks. Thanks.

That's all I can really say.

I was wondering how you felt about dinner at that sushi place down the street? You have to dress nicely, but I figured we both work hard on iCarly and stuff. We could eat someplace nice? I mean, Carly is in Europe! Everything she is eating is nice. Right?

Freddie


	9. iMight Like Someone

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

Here are a couple clever pictures that Guppy was able to get of Sam and Freddie at the park the other day. I even overheard them planning to go to the beach tomorrow when we were at the Groovy Smoothie.

Did you know that giraffes are yellow with brown spots? It was inside of my Topple drink today!

Man! The things that you can learn!

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Giraffes have always been yellow with brown spots. We got pictures with them at the zoo two years ago….

Anyway, have you seen them do anything else? I have been trying to get them to send me pictures but they insist that they keep forgetting! Do they look like a couple? Are they acting like a couple?

WHY WONT THEY TELL ME THINGS?

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie, Sam, Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Here are those other pictures from the art gallery Spender took us to today. We are headed to France tomorrow morning. Dad said he is taking us to a big dinner with some friends! I am bound to meet more people. I've got a bunch of friends in Europe now, I think. I've eaten breakfast with them every day for the past three days. I can't wait to see what next week brings!

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

Please don't reply to this. I just wanted to get some things out in an email.

Firstly, I have always thought you were a good person. Maybe not always outwardly or even constantly, but I knew you were good to those you deemed deserve it. I have never hated you, even if you made it clear you did not like me at all.

Secondly, I have never actually liked anyone other than Carly, and the only date I did have was a plan to sabotage iCarly. So I'm not really sure if I know what it is supposed to be like when you have feelings for other people. Carly's have always been unreturned, except for that one time but that was unreal. I saved (kind of) her life. It was also motivated by something other than true affection.

Lastly, I really really really really really enjoy spending time with you. It surprises me that we don't break into fights. Somehow being alone when you call me a nerd and a geek is more of a term of endearment than an insult. You don't even say it with a scowl! You say it with a grin. I like your smile.

I am looking forward to spending the day biking and at the beach. It's strangle comfortable knowing that we have plans all the time. I can't wait to see you.

And that's the truth. I am looking forward to seeing you. It's weird. I used to dread time with you and it seemed to drag on forever, but now I can't get enough of it.

Freddie

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: tht email was sweet<p>

317-555-4321: I tld u not to rspnd!

317-555-1289: I tht u mnt email….

317-555-4321: I xpctd u to rspnd n e way

317-555-4321: u have a habit of not lstnin

317-555-1289: do u miss carly?

317-555-4321: of course I do

317-555-1289: yea yea of course

317-555-1289: dum ?

317-555-4321: dont u

317-555-1289: I gtg

317-555-4321: sam

317-555-4321: dont go : (

* * *

><p>mPuck: carly told us to B on rite now<p>

freddieB: sam r u mad me

mPuck: wut makes u think so?

freddieB: u wont look me in the eye

mPuck: it was sunny today

freddieB: plz just tell me wut I did wrong

[ cShay has joined the conference ]

freddieB: u cant ignore me forever

mPuck: hi carly! Sorry we havent sent pictures I kno u want some

mPuck: but clearly nothing has changed here

cShay: play nice with Freddie

[ gibby has joined the conference]

gibby: did you know that cottage cheese is chunky milk?

gibby: WOW

[ gibby has left the conference ]

cShay: gibby is a strange man

cShay: a strange shirtless man

mPuck: so whats the dealio? Why u gotta keep us up so late?

freddieB: yea i had an errand to run for my mom

cShay: you can leave Freddie

cShay: this is boy talk anyway…I think I found the perfect guy!

freddieB: good job

mPuck: oh look

mPuck: our geek is jealous

mPuck: he might explode with his envy

freddieB: sam idk y u r being like this

mPuck: skiddle away wee momma's boy

freddieB: well momma, as u wish X[

[ freddieB has left the conference ]

cShay: that was flirty! He flirted with you!

mPuck: he definitely wasn't flirting. We yelled and screamed at each other all day…

cShay: ….he flirted


	10. iReally Dont Know

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>Fun Fact: I have in fact memorized the fake cell numbers that I made for the characters.<p>

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Here is a picture of the boy. Today dad let me wander around Paris with this fella! We drank lemonade from tall thin classes, I tried escargot! We walked the outskirts of town hand in hand! He bought me this cute handmade beaded purse! We ended the day with a bowl of chocolate ice cream at the local shop near our hotel. I asked if I could bring him to the dinner thing Dad is taking us to.

He's wonderful, Sam! I really like him. Do you think it would be too soon to ask him how he feels about long distance relationships? Or maybe I should see if he likes me first? How do I do that?

It's like I've never had a boyfriend before! WHAT DO I DO SAM? I am about to start bleating like a sheep…

Oh man!

Carly

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: did u get this msg?<p>

317-555-5678: yes sam

317-555-1289: just checkin

317-555-1289: so this boy..r u w/ him now?

317-555-5678: jon is his name & yes

317-555-1289: ask him about his dating life…casually

317-555-1289: then email me later

317-555-5678: what hpns if it gets detailed? :0

317-555-1289: then ask ur ?s duh

317-555-5678: ill kp u pstd

317-555-1289: l8r carl

317-555-5678: ty sam

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I know you've been following me and Freddie around. Just don't let Carly know we've been spending so much time together. She might get the wrong idea.

Plus, nobody else has asked us to hang out. You've been attached to Guppy this entire time. And you don't sit with us at school. Why don't you pack an extra turkey sandwich for momma and we can all ketchup at lunch.

Mmmm….ketchup and turkey!

Sam

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

Freddie….i am sorry…

Guess I am just jealous a little bit that Carly can get guys to like her without trying and I just suck at all that stuff all together. The only thing I'm good for is eating meat.

Sam

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: my mom is asleep<p>

317-555-4321: can I cm ovr?

317-555-1289: idk that this is a good plan

317-555-4321: I cant sleep

317-555-1289: cmg here wont help u

317-555-4321: I miss u

317-555-1289: I thnk u r Xng lines Freddie

317-555-1289: u like carly

317-555-4321: u cld use sm cmpny sam ur mom is gone all the time

317-555-1289: if u come bring me a smoothie and a sandwich

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

You and carly have some friendship issues….

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Jon and I talked about everything tonight while we were riding the bus around town. We were going to meet Spencer and Dad for a traditional lunch with one of Dad's many friends. I asked him if he had a girlfriend he was supposed to be spending time with instead, and it was the perfect gateway! You gave me awesome advice!

We joked about how girls get jealous and boys get all boyish. We started talking about these things, American dreams, European expectations, the complications of dating. The woes of marriage! And he asked me eventually how I felt (HE ASKED ME!) about a long distance relationship. I kind of said "what" because I was so lost in the conversation.

"You're going back to America, yes?" he has such a dreamy French accent over his words! I stared and looked sad…I have to leave him behind. But we talked about some things we could do if we wanted a long distance relationship. Dad could fly me out when he's in Europe and we could visit.

Right?

That's a good idea, right?

Oh sam…I don't know!

I JUST DON'T KNOW!

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

You have soft skin. I didn't want to tell you last night because I thought every second (like clockwork) that you were going to hit me for holding your hand. That was a great movie, by the way. You always seemed to like comedies more than tragedies. It was refreshing.

I also kind of wanted to maybe bring up something about us possibly having a …. Date?

Freddie

* * *

><p>mPuck: Freddie<p>

freddieB: sam

mPuck: you definitely passed over those lines…

freddieB: we get along great. Theres nothing to be afraid of. Carly doesnt like me back. And honestly…

freddieB: I dont like her anymore

freddieB: i dont think I have for a long time

mPuck: Freddie….about carly

freddieB: what?

mPuck: I don't know if shes coming back

mPuck: she keeps talking about this jon guy

mPuck: shes really attached to him

mPuck: and she just text me about her father being permanently positioned in Europe

freddieB: we can talk about this in just a sec ok

freddieB: my mom wants me to get the bot on the high shelf

mPuck: right oh

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: r u going to stay there?<p>

317-555-5678: I rly like jon and dad is finally going to b in 1 plc

317-555-4321: wut abt icarly?

317-555-5678: u guys cn keep it goin for a few weeks til we figr smthng out

317-555-4321: thats not goin 2 b good 4 viewrs all

317-555-5678: I rly like it here Freddie

317-555-4321: and I rly like having a brk from u but tht dsnt mn I want u gone 4ever

317-555-5678: u r my bf u kno tht no mttr where I am or u r

317-555-4321: I gtg sam is waitin 4 me

317-555-5678: r u n sam dating?

317-555-4321: no

317-555-5678: do u like sam?

317-555-4321: idk n e mor carly

317-555-4321: GOOD BYE


	11. iAm Confused

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

Guppy and I have decided we don't like being spies. Plus…I have a big test in history and its guppy's birthday tomorrow….we don't want to chase sam and Freddie around…

They hold hands and stuff its weird.

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

They're holding hands?

I don't understand!

Carly

* * *

><p>mPuck: thanks for the ham<p>

freddieB: people at school think we r dating

mPuck: ive heard this

mPuck: not worried about it

freddieB: why?

mPuck: I punched that travis kid in the face for saying it

freddieB: oh well then

freddieB: at least you handled it maturely

mPuck: its better than telling people you dont know!

mPuck: if carly knew we were acting like a couple shed freak out

mPuck: there would be endless sheep sounds

freddieB: carly isnt sure shes coming back

freddieB: and I wouldnt care n e way

freddieB: its my choice to like and date who I want to

mPuck: carly crutches on the fact that u like her

mPuck: i kno she wont talk about it with n e one but u r her shoulder to cry on

mPuck: when guy problems ride she depends on ur compliments

mPuck: its never quite reliable from a girl

freddieB: really?

mPuck: yes but dont ever say n e thing about it

mPuck: momma didnt tell u

freddieB: It doesnt matter

mPuck: really now?

freddieB: I dont like carly n e more

mPuck: y dont u think on that one

mPuck: im gonna cook some ham

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

Before anyone else tells you, Sam and I have been close. It even looks as though we r dating. We are not dating. And before you go on and on and on about how we should have been sending pictures and talking to you about it, I want to make something clear.

I don't have feelings for you anymore. I know you never returned them, but over time I've grown more comfortable with the idea of liking you than I have any actuality of being able to date you. It seems crazy now to imagine how big of a deal I made it.

I am a little confused about everything right now because you don't know if you want to come home. You think you've fallen in love with this Jon guy (who Sam keeps telling me about). Then there's the entire iCarly thing to consider. I am at a loss for words and all.

Freddie

* * *

><p>mPuck: heeeeey!<p>

cShay: sam

cShay: r u dating Freddie

mPuck: no

mPuck: I am not dating Freddie

cShay: spencer has a flight back home for tomorrow

cShay: socko called and apparently had these great concert tickets with backstage passes that he won

mPuck: that's cool. when is he packing your stuff up

cShay: I talked to jon and ive decided not to stay here

mPuck: u rnt staying? Why?

cShay: I want to finish high school in America where I don't have a lot of catching up to do

mPuck: u r smart

mPuck: u could have caught up

cShay: im not done

mPuck: ….ok

cShay: i will coming to stay with dad in the summers

cShay: and I might come to college here afterwards

cShay: that's still three years away

mPuck: have u told Freddie?

cShay: Freddie and I arent talking right now

mPuck: im sorry : (

cShay: no its not ur fault

cShay: he said he doesnt like me like me n e more

cShay: I guess its just a wake up call really

mPuck: Freddie is just being Freddie

mPucK: he will always love u carly

cShay: I don't know why im even sad

cShay: I don't like him or n e thing

mPuck: u relied on him to be there drooling when u were feeling down

cShay: …yeah…

mPuck: u have jon now

mPuck: u'll be fine

* * *

><p>TO: Sam<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

Come over as soon as you get this please.

: )

Freddie


	12. iThink Its Love

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: I like you<p>

317-555-1289: im glad ths lines r invisibl

317-555-4321: sam I like u

317-555-4321: hey sam

317-555-4321: sam guess what

317-555-1289: WHAT

317-555-4321: I like u a lot

317-555-1289: [1] carly is coming back and as soon as she comes back you are going to realize that

317-555-1289: [2] you really are in love with carly and then this entire two weeks will be a mystery

317-555-4321: thts not true

317-555-1289: Freddie I hv liked u 4 a long time

317-555-1289: but carly comes 1st

317-555-4321: how long?

317-555-1289: since we had our first kiss issue

317-555-4321: y didnt u say smthng

317-555-1289: well idk

317-555-1289: I didnt rly admit I liked u til the dance

317-555-4321: u didnt go to the dance

317-555-1289: I saw u n carly dancing the groovy smoothie whn I went hm

317-555-4321: y didnt u cm in

317-555-1289: u like carly

317-555-1289: not me

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

Carly, how would you really and honestly feel if I dated Sam? Would that bother you?

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Hypothetically?

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

Carly…

…people think I am dumb…

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I am sorry that I haven't even tried to tell you how I feel. I know that two years is a long time for feelings to build up and everything. But please don't ignore me. Carly comes back in two days and I wanted to spend one more day with you before she came back.

I am sorry. I can make us a three course meal of meat. I can make you a meat platter, too.

Sam

* * *

><p>freddieB: hey there<p>

cShay: I don't know how I feel about you dating Sam.

cShay: But that's because I don't know the truth about how everyone feels.

cShay: I don't even know how I feel.

freddieB: I won't share anything that isn't mine to share, but I think you should know.

freddieB: I really, really like Sam. A lot

freddieB: a lot a lot

cShay: that sounds like more than liking

cShay: like like liking

freddieB: …..like….loving?

cShay: …yes

cShay: …it sounds like loving

freddieB: how did this happen?

cShay: does sam know any of this?

freddieB: no

cShay: let me talk to her for a second

freddieB: that's a bad idea

* * *

><p>cShay: sam we need to talk<p>

mPuck: about?

cShay: Freddie

mPuck: we r not dating

cShay: do u like Freddie?

cShay: be honest

mPuck: Freddie is Freddie and that's all I've got to say on it

cShay: sam would u freak out if I said he really like u

cShay: a lot a lot a lot!

cShay: he likes u the way u like ham

mPuck: fine carly

mPuck: I have liked Freddie for 2 years

cShay: that's a time sam

cShay: that's really long

mPuck: I

cShay: does he know?

mPuck: I may have told him

cShay: and?

mPuck: hes ignoring me

cShay: WHAAAAAAT?

[ freddieB joins the conference ]

freddieB: I told u it wld go badly

cShay: ill show u badly!

freddieB: what?

mPuck: oh no

mPuck: this was a triangular prostetic disaster

freddieB: prosthetic?

cShay: YOU ARE IGNORING THE GIRL!

cShay: WHY ARE YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOING THAT?

freddieB: im not ignoring

freddieB: im delaying my response…

mPuck: u r definitely ignoring me

freddieB: am not

mPuck: r 2

freddieB: NOT

mPuck: TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

cShay: R 2 D 2 beep be boop

cShay: Freddie…you tell her

freddieB: thats not something u admit online….

mPuck: online is safer

freddieB: if u r going 2 hit me bc of what I say

freddieB: admitting it at all is a bad idea

cShay: TELL HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR NOW

cShay: I'll bleat u

cShay: for a looooong time

mPuck: NO SHEEP NOISES

cShay: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

freddieB: fine

freddieB: sam

freddieB: I like you….a lot a lot

cShay: thats not the right "L" word

freddieB: sam

mPuck: yes?

freddieB: I …

[ mPuck has signed offline ]

[ mPuck has left the conference ]

cShay: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

freddieB: she doesnt want to hear it or see it or know it or feel it

freddieB: hobbit feet

cShay: I want you guys holding hands and kissing faces when I get home!

[ cShay has left the conference ]

freddieB: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?


	13. iAdmitted It

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>cShay: Hi sam<p>

mPuck: ..hi

cShay: how are you?

mPuck: very very confused

cShay: why?

mPuck: h/o

* * *

><p>cShay: Freddie u best tell me what happened<p>

cShay: pronto

freddieB: well firstly let me tell you whats been happening

cShay: please tell me this is all g-rated stuff

cShay: PLEASE

freddieB: well..yea

freddieB: anyway sam has been coming over and sleeping on the overhang with me

cShay: GGGGG RATED WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?

freddieB: sleeping like ZZzzZZzZz

cShay: oh..

cShay: that's G-rated then

freddieB: and we've been pretty good about getting up before my mom or at least after when she's running errands…

freddieB: well last night I dared to leave and go to her house

freddieB: b/c her mom is off doing hot dog knows what

cShay: how sweet

freddieB: and we were sitting on her bed talking about dumb things

freddieB: television stuff

cShay: sounds like sam

freddieB: I finally just asked sam why she keeps shutting me out even if you aren't upset about it

freddieB: she shrugged her shoulders

cShay: well why did u ask a dumb question like that?

freddieB: b/c she needs to talk about it

cShay: she's never even talked about it with me

freddieB: well I told her that I hadn't dated anyone b/c I kind of thought every girl was like u

freddieB: didn't like me back or was totally nuts b/c of my bad experiences

cShay: well sam hasn't really had any bad experiences only ones the fizzle

freddieB: exactly

freddieB: so I asked if it was because she didn't know her dad

freddieB: sam shrugged again so I figured that was why

cShay: oh llama

cShay: whaaaat did u do?

freddieB: well I did the only thing I know how to do…I talked more

* * *

><p>mPuck: Freddie did u mean it?<p>

mPuck: what u said?

freddieB: of course I meant it

freddieB: I didn't even go home after u made me leave

freddieB: I sat on the bench across the street

freddieB: until my mother called frantic at least

mPuck: why do you like me so much?

mPuck: I've been really mean all this time

freddieB: but that's just who you are

freddieB: u say mean and sarcastic things b/c that is your nature

freddieB: and you may not see it but u really care about carly and me

freddieB: and your mom even if you do a great way of masking it with anger

mPuck: yuck

freddieB: and not talking about this stuff has conditioned you to believe you aren't able to have feelings

mPuck: oh yuck yuck

freddieB: but I love you sam regardless of those things

* * *

><p>cShay: so u promised her you would never leave?<p>

cShay: that's so sweet

freddieB: well it was true

freddieB: we kind of drifted closer to each other but when she made eye contact

freddieB: she just jerked away and made me leave

cShay: did u leave?

freddieB: I sat outside until my mom called

freddieB: she realized I was gone

cShay: oh that crazy woman makes things difficult

cShay: she is ruining teen love!

freddieB: when I got home I asked my mom about dad since I don't know mine

freddieB: and my mom was surprisingly open and normal about it

freddieB: then she asked why I asked like she always does when she gets panicky

cShay: OMG OMG OMG did u tell her?

freddieB: I said I think I am in love with someone

freddieB: and my crazy mom smiled and nodded

freddieB: well of course Freddie, u have that crazy friend of carly's over all the time

cShay: WHAT?

cShay: WHAT?

cShay: . WHAT?

freddieB: she said she regularly wakes up and peaks on me at night

freddieB: she said "I didn't want to embarrass you about it b/c I am always a little over protective"

cShay: wow ur mom sees the craziness

cShay: this is a good thing

cShay: its like the world I used to live in has b come something else and I just don't know it anymore

freddieB: I asked her if she was mad and she nodded

freddieB: but then she insisted she would try to understand

freddieB: I hugged her then came in here to see if I could catch sam online

freddieB: im waiting for her to respond

cShay: shes online she should be talking

freddieB: I told her I loved her

* * *

><p>cShay: sam<p>

cShay: u r going to have to face Freddie sooner or later

mPuck: and I can punch him for saying that

mPuck: who is he to think he can just say those types of things

mPuck: what a dork

cShay: sam u don't need to b mad about it

mPuck: what am I supposed to be sam?

mPuck: hes just playing some sick joke to get me back for all the times I humiliated him

cShay: no hes not

cShay: he even talked to him mom

cShay: Freddie is very serious

mPuck: ridiculous

cShay: sam u r ridiculous

* * *

><p>freddieB: she got offline<p>

cShay: that's alright b/c I've got a plan

cShay: I hope you are serious

cShay: b/c it requires public kissing

freddieB: PUBLIC?

cShay: u r coming to the airport to pick me up and so is she

cShay: but she wont know u r coming

cShay: I'll have her come with gibby

freddieB: do u think she will?

cShay: she doesn't have a choice

freddieB: I hope so


	14. iCan't Keep Up

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

You are not stupid. You are different. You don't know typical things because you aren't a typical person. You are funny and people like you.

Ladies like you ;) and your shirtlessness.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

Ya really mean that?

I guess I'm obligated to tell you something. Sam and Freddie told me not to.

Gibby

* * *

><p>cShay: I already know that they are in love<p>

gibby: oh its not that

cShay: what?

gibby: yea that's old news

gibby: do you know where I can get some silly putty? Guppy wants to put it on this girl's sandal.

cShay: silly putty? No no no

cShay: what did u want to tell me about?

gibby: the picture

gibby: you know…the piiiiiiiiicture

gibby: anyway…this silly putty business

gibby: do you think Cabbage General might have some?

cShay: WHAT PICTURE?

cShay: TELL ME ABOUT THE PICTURE

gibby: yea it was a baaaaad picture

gibby: that French guy was stalking you or something

gibby: I just checked the website! Cabbage general has silly putty!

cShay: forward me this PICTUREEEE NOW

gibby: ok

gibby: but then I gotta go get guppy some silly putty

* * *

><p>317-555-4321: Samantha Puckett answer me now<p>

317-555-4321: I really want to talk to you : (

317-555-4321: ;(

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

I'll be there soon. I just want you to know that I found out about that PICTURE you insisted I didn't find out about. I called my dad and he's taking care of it. That sick dude will not know what hit him!

It's not real. He Pictocropped it or something.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

Sam is still ignoring me. I even went to her house and tried to get her to come outside.

I took ham.

She turned down ham.

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Everything is going to be alright Freddie. She has agreed to meet up with Gibby to pick me up and take me home. You are going to be waiting outside the front doors and SWOOP HER INTO YOUR ARMS

AND KISS

HER FACE.

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I can't come pick you up at the airport. My mom needs me to wait for the mailman because she has a package due today. I will be at your house at five o'clock sharp! I am really sorry.

I'll bring you your favorite smoothie to make up for it.

Sam

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

Thanks for the ham.

Sam

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

She said thank you for the ham. She is breaking my heart X(

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Freddie<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Aw, I hate to laugh at your misfortune but that was really cute. Freddie in real love is awesome.

BTW, Sam can't make it to the airport. Her mom made plans for her last minute. So she's going to be at my house at 5 o'clock. I'm going to leave the door unlocked and all the lights off…and I'll be upstairs. She won't take the stairs because, honestly, this is Sam we are talking about. I'll tell her I've just gotten home and to come help me unpack.

She will go to the elevator. And inside you will be. You will PULL HER INTO YOUR ARMS AND KISS HER FACE. This is going to happen. I'm telling you, Freddie, it will be amazing!

Carly

* * *

><p>317-555-1289: hey carl!<p>

317-555-5678: SAAM!

317-555-1289: on my way!

317-555-5678: im not hm yt!

317-555-1289: Ill wait 4 u thr

317-555-5678: X [ fine

* * *

><p>317-555-5678: GO TO MY HOUSE!<p>

317-555-4321: y?

317-555-5678: SAM IS ON HER WAY THERE NOOOOOOW

317-555-4321: WHAT?

317-555-5678: ALL CAPS RAGEEEEE jst GO

317-555-4321: going going going!

317-555-5678: STOP TEXTING ME AND GO MAKE LOVE TO YOUR LOVE

317-555-4321: in your apartment?

317-555-5678: u kno wht I mean!


	15. iFeel Love in the Air

Disclaimer: I'm not Dan. So I did not create iCarly or its characters.

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Freddie

SUBJECT:

You keep asking Sam and I to tell you what happened. Sam and I decided we would email you with my half and her half. Alright? Well, too bad because that's what you are getting. Sam is still opening up, you know how she is.

So you know that you text me and demanded me to your apartment to await Sam. So I buzzed on over in my dumb geeky manner. I was probably about to pee my pants until I realized that this is what I wanted. I just kind of flopped onto your couch and reflected on how easy being around Sam was and how normal is seemed. I used to think it would have been awkward but it came without any problems.

So I am sitting on your couch thinking about the laughs and the hams we shared. The nights she snuck to my house and the talk with my mom. So what if I'm only fifteen years old…I know that I love this girl…this Sam…because she is too awesome to be classified as just ANY GIRL (and even if I didn't love her she is certainly a classification of human and gender all her own).

Then I about have a heart attack because here comes YOUR BROTHER THROUGH THE DOOR. I tell him to drop everything and get in his room and he asks why and I scream and he keeps saying WHY WHY WHY… "CARLY PLANNED THIS OUT PERFECTLY! DO NOT RUIN IT!" He called me scary and left. So I close the door and straighten my clothes, you know, because now I am extra nervous. By then its been about fifteen minutes since you told me to show up. I knew that Sam would be there any minutes.

And now the door opens and Sam walks in. She doesn't seem right away because she's reached over her chest to turn the lights on and your favorite smoothie in her left hand, her favorite nestled between her forearm and her chin. She sets them down on the coffee table. She's had to have seen me at this point. I am telling myself she knows I am there and is completely pretending I'm not there.

"SAM!" I screamed because naturally I am super angry that she is so good at being dissociated.

"ILOVEYOUFREDDIE!" She squished each of the words together then slammed her hands over her mouth. She behind the counter now from moving away from me, and I just casually walk on over as if she's just asked me for an apple. There were apples there but I didn't want an apple. That's not what I was at your apartment. I did really consider grabbing an apple to kind of savor Sam admitting her feelings. It was nice. And she beat me to it.

I kind of think she did that because doesn't like me "beating" her in anything.

Then I LEANED ACROSS THE TABLE AND KISSED HER FACE…..

….a lot

Freddie

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Sam

SUBJECT:

I imagine Freddie wrote this crazy weird tale about some epic scene that was not epic. Well, it was epic for us but you are neither Freddie nor myself, so you won't find it epic. I'll just tell it like it is.

I expected you to kind of have something up your sleeve, Carly. Momma has rubbed off on you, and you have learned her ways well. So I knew that I could change my plans but so could you. So I am walking up the stairs and I can hear Freddie screaming at Spencer to leave and I pass him on the stairs. Spencer looked at me and kind of cried…"Freddie is a scary boy" then walks down the stairs some more. He had a bag of groceries I think…and a Smoothie : ) Coconut Bananaberry!

I already know Freddie is there. Plain and simple. I thought about it. I've seen enough of those girly movies that are so popular to know guys only pursue you for two reasons. They love you. Or they want to kill you. And Freddie, he's not a killing type of dude. Now, if I were pursuing him, we might have had to really think about that question, but yea. That was not what happened.

So I act like he's not there. I'm not really ready to talk about these feelings things I apparently have for him. I mean, I knew I liked him. I was ninety-five percent sure I was in lurvvvvve with him. Gosh, that word is really scary. I was saying YOU LURVE FREDDIE in my head because that is still not saying LOVE.

But I only made it half way across your apartment before iLost My Mind and blurted ILOVEYOUFREDDIE. It came out kind of like a single word thing. Kind of like OhMyGod. All of it just fell out. Like word vomit. I covered my mouth because Freddie's eyes didn't even get wider like they were supposed to do. So now I was thinking perhaps he was a killer after all.

He comes over and BOOM. His kisses me. It wasn't just one of those quick lame kisses like the first one we had forever ago. This was a KIIIIIIIIIIISS as my mom calls it. The whole thaaang. Full-frontal kissing. It was all there. I will spare you the details. It was…oh gosh this is so girly….magical.

Then we drank the smoothies. We had to go get you a new one because he drank yours.

Sam

* * *

><p>TO: Freddy, Sam<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Those were so CUTE you guys. I am so happy for your guys! And I'm glad that you are willing to announce it on iCarly so that the Seddie fans can go fanwartastic at the news.

Oh love. Young love. Sam and Freddie love. It's all so sweet. Like daisies and tulips.

Meet you guys at my place in twenty minutes so we can rehearse for tomorrow's episode!

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

Rehearsal is in 20 minutes. But you know that.

How about smoothies afterwards?

Carly

* * *

><p>TO: Carly<p>

FROM: Gibby

SUBJECT:

What about Sam & Freddie…aren't they going to a movie?

Stop staring at me like that from across the table…its freaky

Gibby

* * *

><p>TO: Gibby<p>

FROM: Carly

SUBJECT:

I know they are ;)

That's the point.

Carly

* * *

><p>Thanks for sticking this story out with me guys! I hope you liked it! Of the few reviews I have, all of them have been nice. I appreciate your support! Keep an eye out for more iCarly fanfics in the future!<p>

**_AND DONT FORGET! iLOST MY MIND is coming out AUGUST 13, 2011 8/7 Central! CANNOT WAIT! SEDDIE ALL THE WAY!_**


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